This is my first week of work. I vacillate between excited and fearful at any given moment. Excited for the opportunity to use my skills for something other than being mommy, fearful that I won't get it right.

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one." - Elbert Hubbard

So this has been a week of organizing. It seems that when I am more organized, I work better, complete more tasks. As if my desk is an image of my brain and when it is full of clutter, so is my thinking. Seems kind of obvious, but so easy to lose sight off amidst the chaos.

In my organizing and in discussions with friends I have realized how much I multi-task to a fault. If I go upstairs to get a pair of shoes, I stop and throw in a load of laundry, pick up some toys, redistribute toys, dust the blinds, start organizing my closet...all because I went upstairs for that pair of shoes.

I went to Michael's Craft Store the other day for pipecleaners. I came out with two wall placards, a basket, iron wall decorations, two red pens, a magic kit and bracelet making kit (birthday presents, but still...) and thankfully the pipecleaners.

If I go to my computer to get a recipe, I get sidetracked with emails, facebook, blogs and sometimes forget what it was that sent me to my computer.

It is as if I walk into a room and my mind says "How much can we get accomplished here in the next few minutes aside from what you came in here for?" And I go into TAZ mode (as Stephen calls it), running around like a whirling dervish.

Motherhood has done this to me, brainwashed me into thinking I have to get as much done in every step I take every day. Multi-task every nano-second to get everything complete each day.

This new job is making me focus on my tasks, one at a time. There is just no way to conduct a phone interview while multi-tasking or write a story without complete concentration, that just ends with disaster.

I thought at first it might add more stress to my days, but it has actually made my time more valuable, distributing my time more evenly between work and play.

Most importantly, this job has given me the notion "So what if it doesn't all get done?"


"One who fears failure limits his activities. Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again." - Henry Ford

No fear.