The third pillow

Three standard pillows fit across our bed when we sleep. Usually the middle pillow is taken by a younger member of the family.

Sometimes it is Avery. Who sneaks in quietly, stares at my face from the side of the bed and whispers "mommy!" When I finally wake, she tells me she had a bad dream and wants to get in bed with us. Sometimes I take her back to her bed, but other times I am too lazy and she climbs in. She then kicks and flails all night.

Sometimes it is Charlie. Who runs from his room, bursts through our door and yells "mommy!" loudly. I am usually woken by his footsteps and already sitting up in bed by the time he gets to the bed. He tells me he had a bad dream and wants to get in bed with us. Sometimes I take him back to bed, but other times I am too lazy and he climbs in. He then spends the night making slurping sounds while sucking his thumb.

And sometimes it is Jackson. Who doesn't yet get out of his crib on his own, but definitely lets us know he is awake and needs attention. "Mama" and "Dada" can be heard through the wall along with kicks from his feet. Or just all out screaming. Sometimes we soothe him and put him back in his crib, but sometimes we are just too lazy and put him in bed with us. Sometimes he goes back to sleep quickly and other times he talks to us until he is tired.

The third pillow gets a lot of use. And while we are very tired after nights of little intruders, I wouldn't trade that snuggle time for anything. They aren't going to do this much longer and I am glad they have a safe haven that helps keep the boogey men away.

Charlie's motivation

Last summer we played a lot of soccer at mom and dad's house. The kids loved it and looked like they would be fairly good at the sport. So this spring we signed Charlie up, Avery said she preferred dance:)

Last Saturday, Charlie's first practice. The league we joined doesn't have games when kids are this young, they prefer to teach the kids drills and skills.

All excited, we get everyone over to the field, bring snacks for the team, meet his coaches, get Charlie his soccer t-shirt and then Charlie flips a switch and wants nothing to do with playing soccer.

Charlie is in a heightened emotional state right now. If he is tired, doesn't get his way, is in a new environment, he doesn't know how to tell us how he feels or deal with those emotions, so he just shuts down.



If you were to look at just this picture, it would seem Charlie is participating, about to start a drill with the coaches and team.



Then you pan out to this view and realize all the other kids are playing and Charlie is just standing. Frown on the face, tears in the eyes, not wanting anything to do with joining in.

Stephen, Avery, the coaches and I tried all kinds of tactics to get him to participate. Went out on the field with him, kept cheering for him, practiced the drills ourselves. Nothing.

Stephen and I started to get a little frustrated and angry. He LOVES playing soccer. He was missing out on lots of fun.

Finally I go out there and say "I bet you CAN'T do this drill."



Well, fire ignited. Next thing we know he is kicking the 'aliens' off of the cones. He knocks the top disk off, we put it back on and he does it again. Stephen and I take these huge sighs of relief and Avery is heard cheering for him from the sidelines.

He has so much fun the next half hour. The coaches make it a lot of fun and Charlie finally sees what he was missing. At one point coach Travis tells the kids to find their soccer balls, hold it over their heads and hop back to him...we look and Charlie is hopping backwards to him. And Charlie was so cute running off the field every few minutes to high-five Stephen.



In this drill, the coaches threw the balls across the field and the kids had to find them and dribble them back to the goal and try and score. Charlie is first to his ball, and that is him right near the goal about to take on Coach Travis. Totally determined on getting that ball in the net.



Charlie kicking a winning goal with his teammates. So proud of him for breaking through his fears and giving it a try. Lesson learned in what motivates this kid.

the first tooth to go

Big girl losing her first tooth.
She was upset all morning because her tooth hurt and felt weird. I kept asking if I could help pull it to make her feel better. Tears. And a resounding 'no'.

Couple minutes later I see her wiggling it and when she turned her head, the tooth was out. So proud of her.

the toddler squat

There are so many great things about having a toddler. One of my favorites is catching him in this toddler squat. The "I have to stop and eat some goldfish, but can't sit down fully because my attention span is about 20 seconds and I am going to need to be on the move again very shortly."

Be a GREAT neighbor

 

With all of the places we have lived, we have had our share of neighbors.

Some have been pretty bad. Cocaine dealers make for bad neighbors. Neighbors who don't like dogs and make life miserable b/c you do, also make bad neighbors. As well as neighbors who don't seem to have a volume on their stereo's and you happen to live above or below them.

Some neighbors just exist.

And then there are neighbors who just go out of their way to make life more enjoyable. We have had PLENTY of these neighbors in our travels and I am so thankful for each of them. Dave and Michelle in CA, Aimee and Hazen in our first NC residence, pretty much most of our neighborhood in our second residence in NC, Cindy and Bert, Doug, and the 'Tracy's' in Baltimore. And now here.

Yesterday my neighbor brought these over. What a way to enjoy spring in our kitchen. Go out and be a great neighbor this weekend. It is a blessing to everyone involved.

Since Stephen became self-employed in 2004, we have paid for our own medical coverage. We do not get reimbursed by the company for this expense every month. We pay out-of-pocket cash for our monthly premium which has never been below $500 a month. It is average coverage, but it is coverage.

It is a write-off when tax season rolls around, but everyone has that same benefit.

In October 2007 we found out I was pregnant with baby number 3. We had above mentioned health insurance, but it did not include maternity. Maternity was an 'add-on' (upwards of $200+ in addition to our $500+ a month premium) and could only be added to a policy every January. If we had even thought we were going to get pregnant, we probably would have added the maternity coverage that previous winter, but we didn't.
And to be honest, we really didn't have the extra $200+ a month to include the maternity coverage. Yup, I was the dreaded 'pre-existing' condition.

(So much for letting nature take its' course, huh? You better know in January that you might get pregnant that following fall...and pay $200+ a month from January through the fall even though you are not yet pregnant...we were a little baffled to say the least.)

So, we freaked out. Then we got our heads on straight and made a game plan. Looked at our monthly budget, cut costs where we could, found things to sell, and low and behold we paid for prenatal visits, labor and delivery (in a hospital) in CASH.

Here is something that shocked us in this process. Our OB office actually charged us HALF of what they charge insurance carrying patients. They were so relieved not having to deal with the insurance companies policies and procedures.
And it was the best pregnancy, labor and delivery/hospital stay because I had full say on everything, no insurance company dictating my every move.

So, as most of you know, while I was delivering beautiful baby Jackson, Stephen was cross town in another hospital with cellulitis in his elbow. His stay was the same amount of time as mine, his situation WAS covered by our health insurance and he came home with a $12,000 bill, which we soon were told we owed close to half.

I remember opening that bill and having my first mental breakdown. How in the world were we going to pay that? We were trying to sell a house, move, raise 3 small children and only one of us worked??!!

Again, after the freak out and after speaking with the hospital, we got our heads on straight and made a game plan. We were put on a payment plan and for a year, we owed close to $350 to the hospital for an incident that was 'covered'.

We again cut our monthly expenses, sold things, and paid that $350 a month.

September 2009 we made our final payment. It was a huge relief, and an even bigger accomplishment.

So in reading all of this, you would think I believe health care needs to be reformed. You are absolutely right. I was so ticked when Blue Cross Blue Shield told me I was pre-existing as a maternity patient and that no coverage was available. Even more ticked that our $500 a month premium left us still paying close to half of Stephen's medical stay at Wake Med.

But that is not the moral of THIS story. For 6 years, we have paid $500+ a month for health insurance. That is over $36,000. Money that could have been well spent someplace else. But we made a choice. A CHOICE to cover our family. A sacrifice to make sure our needs are (mostly) met medically, in case something happens. That money is hard earned, and sometimes doesn't feel well spent. But we do it because we know the consequences. Someone else will pay for our medical needs when it is not their responsibility.

And we were not raised that way.

I worked at a Rescue Mission. I understand that people are in need. I know situations arise that are unforeseen and can't be avoided. I comprehend that our meager $12,000 hospital stay doesn't even compare to a family dealing with a MAJOR medical issue like cancer, where bills can be $100,000+. And I do have a heart.

But I will not stand by and let the government rob me with taxes to give healthcare to people who don't give a damn about their health, who choose to spend money elsewhere rather than investing in health insurance.
And who is to say with this current reform our premiums won't go up? Or that our coverage won't get worse? I know our family can't really handle either of those situations.

We don't have money trees growing in our backyard, but by CHOICE we have paid our monthly health insurance premium as well as the overages mentioned above. Have we missed out on things because of these costs? ABSOLUTELY. But we were taught to be responsible for ourselves and our actions and wish to teach our children the same.

Handouts to the wrong hands perpetuate the cycle of laziness, lack of responsibility, utter dependence and abuse of government agencies. And I HATE that my name will be on this, my handouts will allow this cycle to continue.